Anxiety - Stop Being Afraid

Well, Thursday I went to Spin Class. That was my first class since last Saturday. The head cold finally subsided but for some reason I feel like I have an ear infection. Anyway, it was a good class and the coach was encouraging. I have been having so much anxiety about this race, I really haven't been able to truly enjoy the practices. And believe or not they are fun but with my body screaming at me and my love affair with CVS Lavender Epsom Salt and being intimidated by all the returning alumni and feeling unprepared (not having all the tools I didn't realize this was an expensive sport at a time when my finances are tight) I have done more stressing.

So I decided to STOP. I will be the little engine that could. I am defeating myself before I put my first foot forward. So everyday I will wake up and say I can do this. I mean it is for a greater purpose. This year will be the five year anniversary of William's death and there has not been much progress in organ donation in the African American community. This is very important to me since Daddy needs a kidney now. Additionally, colon cancer (which my mother died from ) is still very prevalent in our community. That will be my next project - do a 5K run to raise money for colon cancer. So I say to myself if my Mother can do 5 years of chemo and William 1 and half years with strength and resolve...then I can cross that finish line. I do pray and hope to put together a large organ donor/bone marrow drive after this is all said and done. Cancer and Diabetes has changed my life, impacted my life and how I see things (the sky is a different blue). And this is not because I suffered from one of those diseases but those I love dearly have. I watched how their suffering and pain, I saw how a good day can become a bad day in seconds. Even though My Mother and William didn't experience that miracle someone else will by putting all our efforts together.

These are my hopes, these are my dreams that cancer will be a distant memory...ladyfreckles